Friday, February 15, 2013

Poetry: I'm young, but I want to be younger. May I have some feedback please?

Carousel

Carousel
Be the envy of my peers
From this spot
You can take me anywhere

See ever nook and crannie
Of this flat planet
If it isn't flat
People wouldn't be understanding

Carousel
You make me feel young again
Instead of pretending to be
Older than I am

As a young man
I'm filled with free space
I've outgrown my inner child
And now my name

Makes me feel like
Always have a number in hand
Carousel
Spin faster than ever so I can wonder again

As the lights flash
Before my eyes, I feel secure
Now I wonder why none of my peers
Ride you anymore

When I'm turning on this spot
I almost feel innocent
Awashed in your bright colors
My face can light up again

Somewhere a Parkinson's painter
Is having a field day
I'd take chaos over default peace anyday

Carousel
Be the envy of my peers
Make me think the happiest place on earth
Is right here

I'd rather feel like a five year old
Than I do now
If I was someone else
I wouldn't want me around




Snap back to reality
Back to the pyramid
As the ride slows down
The dizzyness settles in

Snap back to reality
Back to the pyramid
As the ride slows down
The dizzyness settles in

The dizzyness never leaves
It never ever leaves

Thanks for reading
I'm 17 btw
>>> Poetry: I'm young, but I want to be younger. May I have some feedback please?