I'm 19 years old and I am currently looking for work and looking for a college. Today my mom and brother have gotten very angry at me today. How it all started was very miniscule, (well to me it was) my brother asked me to keep an eye on his character for the dungeon/raid finder notification to pop up(those who play World of Warcraft know) while he goes to get a few things from the market. About ten minutes pass and my younger brother wanted me to make him something to eat. And I guess while I was away it popped up and missed it. When he got back and noticed he got mad at me saying "Wow thanks, you can't even do that for me. (I always do those for him when he asks) When you just sit there doing nothing. (I usually be on his laptop while he is at the computer) When was the last time you filled out an application!?" I replied,"at least a week ago" Then he goes off bragging about he fills out 20 applications a week and how I treat him by giving him the cold shoulder (I usually give him that because he constantly wants to see everything I'm doing and the way he talks to me like someone talks to a 3 year old.It gets me annoyed.) and he is tired of it. And asks when the last time I washed the dishes(I said two days ago). And threatens to block my nook color from getting internet if I don't fill one out by the end of the day.
An hour an a half later i was texting my dad and my mom is half asleep and asks if I was texting him. I said yes then she gets mad at me for talking to him. (Thier divorced and she dislikes him alot) Then she goes off saying,"What do you guys even talk about! Are you talking about god?!" (Yes, I beileve in the Lord) I said we mostly ask how we both are doing. She gets even more mad at me say "oh so he doesn't even talk to your bother? Do you even tell your dad how bad he feels (or something close to that but it doesn't make sense either way. Maybe something I don't know about.) But, no it's all about you.(I don't really talk to anyone. I mostly listen to you and both brothers. I'm sorry but you guys mostly don't care or understand how I feel. I haven't tolfher that but thought it) I don't understand you. You don't work, go to school, drive, or try to lose your weight( yes, I'm overweight). You don't do anything your just existing.By the way why do you even have a password on your phone? Do you even have anything to hide? I really don't understand you."
When she said that I just exist made me think when my brother said that to me a month before. Now honestly I don't think they should talk to me like this because my brother hasn't even cleaned anything since we got this place and I did more than he did especially first three or four days we moved here I tried to keep the kitchen clean and cooked dinner straight. (Those were the days my mom would sleep all day and night) and all those other times I did that also. And what has he done! Sit at his computer and play Warcraft! When he gets back from work and not at work. Since he has no work in the summer this is what he does. And he always complains about everythig I do and he talks about himself like he's perfect.
And my mom is in the same situation as me with no job and she either goes to her friend's or sleeps for days. Sometimes she would clean and cook and she says I don't do anything.At least I don't sleep for days. Yes, I'm lazy but they should look at themselves before they point fingers.
I don't even understand what happened to make them think I'm a nobody that just exists. They always make me feel I'm not even worth being here. Like I never belonged here. I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore. Even when I do things for them that they can't get off there butt and do it themselves. And after the whole thing they act nice and super happy and act like nothings wrong. And I'm just sad and frustrated and my mom says I have an attitude after I said I wasn't getting any dinner yet. And she mocks me by talking to my dad.
I would be looking for more work but it just frustrating when I need to either download the application or print it out. I say its frustrating because the computers I use aren't even mine their my brother's and the printer. I don't want to mess anything up and be blamed for doing something.It's always like this I can't even do a simple thing without getting everyone mad at me. I can't even talk to my dad without mom showing attitude toward me.It like I'm trapped here, even if I breathe on my own without some one getting mad. I feel really sad ad I don't understand.Is it my imagination or did I do something wrong that you see and I don't? Am I just someone that just exists? I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore just thinking about everything depresses me. :(
См. статью: Am I really worthless? Do I just exist?