I'd like to unpick my memory and recall just how and why I came to develop a particular fear I've been suffering from for the last 2½ years.
HYPNOSIS IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
So also is any form of therapy, as I can't afford private therapy, and I've been in & out of NHS psychotherapy a lot over the last 25+ years, presently being out of therapy, and unlikely to be able to get back into it anytime soon.
In essence then, I'll be working alone. Books are okay, as would be websites from which I could take print-outs, but I can't afford to use interactive sites.
BUT BACK TO THE POINT: I moved into my house 2½ years ago, and live alone. It's not my house though, but belongs to my Mum, to whom it was bequeathed. Therefore, as it's so important to her - as well as to me - I wanted to take extra special care of it; but in the course of this, I started to develop an irrational fear of all things greasey, be it butter, margarine, cooking oils, etc.
This is because I know they are especially difficult to clean off fabrics and other surfaces, like varnished wood, and can be invisible at first, leading to possible permanent staining, which may be impossible to remove.
As well as this, I also became paranoid about getting any form of grease on my mobile phone, which is a "slider" type - a Samsung S8300 (Tocco Ultra), if it helps. I fear that it may find its way into the phone's holes, nooks, and crannies, causing it to become blocked up with dirt and therefore damaged, especially the camera lens & flash, as they're normally concealed within the "unslid" back cover of the phone; and also that any liquid grease may seep in through the mike or speaker and damage the insides just like water.
WHAT I WANT TO REMEMBER, though, is just how did I start thinking about grease and its possible effects on my phone?
I figure that if I can uncover the circumstances, emotions, general frame of mind, and events that led me to think this way, then perhaps I can bring the fear into perspective, or even dispel it completely. For while I know that I probably do have a bit of a point with regard to grease affecting my phone, I'm not aware of ANYONE ELSE, anywhere, worrying about this; whereas most folk clearly worry about getting their phone wet!
So, have you any ideas, tips, hints, or mental tricks I could use to try to unlock these memories? Any budding Derren Browns or Patrick Janes out there who like to dabble in the mysteries of the human mind? Any psychologists or psychology students?
I'm open to ideas, no matter how zany or bizarre they may seem to most, so long as they're not harmful, and not illegal!
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