I'm writing a story about a girl who loves to read.An old woman gives her a collection of books and the characters start to talk to her. She winds up falling in love with one of the characters. (I've already asked a question about this asking for a name by the way). I was just wondering if you thought this was a good opening, and if there is anything I should change. Constructive Criticism is accepted :)
"That was beautiful." Rylin whispered under her breath, tears bubbling in her eyes. She stared down at the last sentence of the novel, it had stricken her heart with full force. She had fallen in love with the two characters love story while she was reading the trilogy of books, the son of a Nazi and a Jewish girl.It had a true Romeo and Juliet ending as well, and like the words that had slipped out of her mouth before, it had been tragically beautiful. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and pulled herself up from her reading nook nestled in the corner of her room between the wall and her window. She blinked quickly, adjusting to the odd sense of vertigo that had washed through her head from getting up too fast. Confusion swept through next, golden light slanted through her window, highlighting her dark wood floors. When she had sat down it was only noon. Rylin hadn't realized she had sat still for that long.
"Ry!" She whipped her head around just in time to see her little brother crash into her. The ten year old looked up at her from his position attached to her waist, a smile that barely showed his three missing teeth spreading across his face. "Dinner's ready!" Erik said, his voice an octave lower than a yell, and dashed off again. She shook her head amusement, her nose catching the smell of dinner for the first time.Mm, She thought, spaghetti!
***
Rylin twiddled her fork in the noodles, the plate half empty. She once again found herself entranced by the book she had finished, the climax replaying in her mind again and again. She couldn't help but analyze every action of every character. She was so in her thoughts she didn't hear her mom's repeated calls for her until she felt a spoon smack her in the skull. She jumped, her eyes finding her brother's in a glare.
"Rylin, what are you thinking about so deeply?" Her mother asked, her voice a mix of concern and suspicion. She shook her head, glancing back to her noodles. "Rylin?"
"Just a book" Rylin mumbled, knowing not to go into detail. Her parents laughed, the wooden chairs scraping against the floor as they got up. Her father ruffled her dark hair, saying something along the lines of 'get your head out of the clouds' and walked off. Rylin sighed, she knew they would never understand her love of books. Erik pushed himself away from the table, flashing her another smile before he left to undoubtedly play video games. She got up herself, collecting her and her family's plates and stacking them up next to the sink.As she ran the hot water, her thoughts drifted back to the book. She would have to wait until after school tomorrow to get a new one, which meant her only distraction from school itself would be her writing notebooks. She scrunched her mouth up for a second, hoping a sudden blast of writer's block didn't hit her tomorrow.
См. статью: Is this a good opening so far?