(Sorry, I know it sounds grim, but the situation will improve)
Blood leaked from her bruised gums and pooled with the saliva beneath her tongue. The memory of her unpleasant meal was washed away by the copper flavor of her life essence. The smell, on any other day would be ignored. Today, the smell was cloaked in the guise of a Grim Reaper and continuously spoke of her death.
Her flesh had all but expired, and the ghoulish figure that remained walked to an unsteady beat. Her right ankle had swollen to twice its natural size, and a nebula of dark greens and purples had overtaken its surface. None of that really mattered though.It was her punctured right lung that had sealed her fate. Her warm life giving fluid was coalescing at the pit of the organ. Her breathing was becoming labored as the deepening turbulent waves of blood fought her every breath.
She held a small bundle of cloth in the nook of her arm and pressed it into her chest. A child rested within its woolen walls, somehow completely oblivious to the jarring movements of his mother. The blah blah blah blah
Sorry, I know that it is a small sample.It is all I had time to write, and it is getting late. From what you can tell, is my writing boring, hard to understand, too wordy, etc? How would you change it?
I have never been talented at writing, but I want to improve. Any help will be greatly appreciated! :)
>>> Would you mind giving me a bit of feedback (writing style advice)?