Hi, so this is my sister's friend's account, and she's letting me use it.
Well, where do I start. I have a very severe depression, and gastrointestinal problems, which cause me high humiliation at school (to the point where it's so unbearable I can't live it down). I also have very bad anxiety and agoraphobia. My agoraphobia has progressed to the point where I'm scared of even strangers now!
My grades are failing, which makes me even more depressed. I was a good student, but now it's like I'm indifferent, which surprised even me. I don't even like to do the things I used to, barely anything interests me now. It takes a lot of effort to try and just pick up the pencil, and sit down and do my homework. I'm behind in all of my classes, in fact, in one class where we use the textbook to learn, I'm 5 chapters behind and finals are coming up. And the problem is, I just can't snap out of it. I've done everything, between yelling at myself, getting other people to yell at me, worrying about what will happen if I don't do it, but it's like my body decided that from now on, nothing matters anymore. My mom will be making an appointment for me to see a stomach doctor, so maybe he can help with both my stomach problems and anxiety. My stomach problems are mainly caused by 2 things, diet (which I haven't seemed to get the hang of) and anxiety (if I get nervous for even a minute, I get diarrhea). I'm so lost right now. I can't seem to snap out of my depression and get my grades up.
Added (1). Not to mention I'm deathly afraid of school. My chest squeezes and feels like an elephant is sitting on it if I just think about going there. I really can't handle it anymore. My parents won't let me homeschool or use online school, and I don't really see how ever in the world I'm going to even finish school, let alone go to college.
How can I get my grades up?
Added (2). My mom and I sort of made a deal, which would be that if I get all A's, then she would buy me whatever I want. I've set my heart on this book from Barnes & Noble, and it makes me even sadder just thinking that I won't be able to get it…
Read more: I'm too depressed to function?!