Sunday, November 25, 2012

Is this a good start for my story?

So basically my story is about six young adults and teenagers on the Titanic who become unlikely friends but meet different fates:

George Lawler's limousine pulled up to Rockefeller Hall. The outside was all lit up with bright lights. Across the top of the entrance a sign said "The Unsinkable Ship: Titanic's 50 Anniversary". George shuddered a little bit as is cheauffer assisted him out.

There were a collection of unfamiliar faces and faces that were all too familiar despite the half a century they had aged. George was 64 though he still kept his beautiful blue eyes, sturdy build, perfect teeth, great smile and his thick shiny hair that was more of a dark grey-black now.

The crowd migrated into the great ballroom that had hundreds of round tables set up with a large podium at the far end. George searched for his spot and when he did find it, he plopped down at the empty table.

George took a swig of the black coffee before him. He winced from the heat of the coffee.

Suddenly George felt a warm, soft hand on his shoulder and a raspy voice whisper next to his ears: "You have evil eyes". George whipped around to see an aged but familiar face. Her eyes were the same: black and beautiful like onyxes. Her hair hadn't grayed and was still long. Her skin was still swarthy and smooth. Her smile could still light up a room.It was Sarah.

Sarah's voice returned to its soft, feminine tone as she landed gracefully next to him. "That's still as scary as it was 50 years and 4 days ago", George replied.

"Aye", she said "I haven't seen you in a quarter century". True, but whenever George saw her, he still saw the helpless, beautiful girl grasping for him but not reaching. "I wish the others were here", she was talking about their four friends they met, loved and lost in four days.

Then, a scale replica of the Titanic was rolled past them. Every nook and cranny was the same. The the memory came back. George closed his eyes and drifted off into a world of Titanic.
>>> Is this a good start for my story?