Ok, I'll try to make this short, but it will be hard.
First of all, I'm very VERY paranoid. About everything. Even when I was 11 I would cry if my mom didn't answer her phone. One time I even had to go to my neighbors house because I was so terrified. I'm also paranoid about getting my period EVERY WEEK. I think that I'm just some kind of walking mistake and everything bad will happen to me. Now that my dad died (that's what really messed me up) a lot has been different. I'm over-protective about my mom. I can't imagine ever losing her. She's all I have. Every time I think I made a friend, I don't. Everyone hates me and is some how plotting against me.
That's just the beginning. A few weeks ago, I went to Barnes and Noble (book store) by myself, but as soon as I began reading I heard everyone whispering my name. Like the whole store was talking about me or calling me. And in math class I saw a shadow walk by the window that nobody else saw. And I thought this conch shell in my house was a cat. I've also been really distracted lately and can't get anything done. I cannot focus AT ALL. I'm so so so sensitive to sounds. I have to blast music with my headphones to calm myself when it gets too loud or there are too many people talking. I can barely control my thoughts anymore. I think too much to the point that my head spins. I haven't been doing math homework because I can't focus. Also I mix up words and letters when I write. I feel like everyone's thinking about how stupid and an how much of an embarrassment I am 24/7. I can't hang around people without being nervous.
Some one please help. I don't want diagnoses unless you're a psychiatrist or something, but I don't want to tell my mom about these problems. I'm so scared. I feel like my life is going down the drain and I'm losing interest in my favorite things to do, because I think I suck and I embarrass myself. And one more thing: I can barely speak without stuttering or mixing up a word or two. I hate talking because of this reason. I never know what to say. HELP?!
Added (1). By the way, It's not hormones. I'm not at 'that age' so I don't want to hear the famous hormone excuse… And sorry I write like a middle school boy. I'm just really bad at everything.
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