I have been dating my girlfriend for more than a year now. We both seem to be perfect for one another and love each other very much. About a year ago we decided to move in with each other.It seemed to make sense financially, not to mention that she stayed at my place virtually every day anyway. The problem, or what became a problem within short time, is that she has two cats that she had owned for a couple years before she met me. Before, when I would be at her place it never really bothered me other than I would have itchy eyes and a stuffy nose the entire time. That was something I was prepared to deal with and did. BUT, after moving in a lot of problems surfaced. First, I had never noticed before, but everything she owned and now everything I own is covered in cat hair. Using a lint brush is absolutely ineffective. Also, even though a cat has never been in my car, it is covered in hair as well (I am assuming from my clothes). Both cats are snow white, so it is blatantly obvious unless you wear all white clothes. Second, I should mention the behavior problems. Not long after living together, one of the cats began attacking me and no, I do not mean in a playful manner. I mean he sneaks up behind me and tears into my legs as if he were going in for the kill. Anytime I walk into a room he hisses or growls. We tried Feliway, Anxitane, and even Prozac, which seemed to mildly sedate the cat, but he showed no improvement behavior-wise. Side-note: the Anxitane seemed to actually make it worse. I am assuming that it is a territorial issue. The other cat, while not attacking me, had its own behavior issues. He likes to participate in an act known as "middening." Just in case you don't know what that is, it is when a cat defecates, not because he isn't litter trained, but simply to get your attention. He will defecate in a very obvious place almost any time that he wants attention and you are too busy to comply…this also means if you shut a door and he wants inside, basically anytime he is upset. He also likes to urinate on pretty-much every rug in the house.It is pointless to wash them (even with the urine neutralizer), because you can count on them being soiled not long after you put them down.To make it less easy, she doesn't really clean up after them. Sure, if they crap in the floor she will clean it up…but our place reeks of cat urine, something I am reminded of by nearly anyone who visits our home.Cat hair accumulates in every nook and cranny, and I feel like I am the only one who cleans it up. She eventually moved the litter box from the kitchen to a spare bedroom after I complained about the smell, not to mention litter always covering the kitchen floor.So now the kitchen is a cat-free zone.
I have expressed my concern to her multiple times, some of which she seems to understand. Eventually the cat that was attacking became so aggressive that she took him to stay with her parents for a "vacation," where he has been for a few months. Her parents would take that cat because it behaves well for them, but refused to take the other because of his behavior issues. Now that the aggressive cat is away on "vacation," sir-craps-alot has became really strange around me, hissing and growling every time I walk into the room. I told my girlfriend that I don't know if I can deal with the current living situation, and asked if she would be okay with making him an outside cat or letting him stay with someone. Her solution is to keep him shut in the spare bedroom with his litter pan and food/water 24/7. I finally told her last week that I didn't think it was humane, and that she needed to make a decision, either find the cat a home or I am moving out. I hate giving an ultimatum, and she views it as me being controlling, but honestly I don't see myself as being a bad person for not wanting to live in an environment that is absolutely stressing me out.So this morning she tells me that she is not prepared to give up her cat.To me, it speaks volumes about our relationship and frankly I am slightly bothered by it, but being true to my word I decided that I am moving out. I love this woman more than any person or thing, but it makes me wander why we have stayed in a relationship this long if it was entirely contingent on whether or not I would agree to living with cats. I know that she loves the cats, but it is difficult for me to understand how someone could place their relationship with an animal above that of their relationship with a person. I guess it kind of puts things into perspective for me, but it doesn't make this any easier.
Anyone have any other practical solutions to this dilemma, or is the course of action I am taking the only one available? I would try to continue to put up with it, but it is simply becoming too stressing. I want to be able to live in a comfortable environment without aggressive animals and the overpowering aroma of cat urine.
См. статью: Is there something wrong with this situation?